I have a colleague who is constantly sharing details of her personal life with me – from the menu at a weekend BBQ to the fight she had with her daughter over whether to watch “The Closer" or “Meet the Fockers”.
The thing is, I don’t care to share my personal life at work and wish she’d stick to business. I do notice, however, that we often have our most productive, efficient work sessions right after one of these more social conversations. Am I crazy, or is there a connection?
Signed, Too Much Information
Dear Too Much,
You are rather more astute than crazy. Your question illustrates an important point about differing communication styles.
You and your colleague represent two classic types – she needs to bond and feel a human connection to do her best work, while you need to focus on work to thrive.
I am not one bit surprised that her work is better and more focused after a social conversation. Neither am I surprised that you’d just as soon skip that step.
My advice to you is to indulge her while also looking after yourself. Set a time limit (how about five minutes?) after which you segue to the work at hand.
If the details of her conversation ever get too intimate (you could have lived your whole life without knowing she has a corn on her toe), you can and should tell her you are a private person and toe care is beyond your comfort zone.
The more she understands your need for boundaries and you understand her need to bond, the better you will both be able to respect and support each others’ styles and work productively together.
How about you? Have a team that doesn't talk? An employee who doesn't listen? A client who needs to hear something they are not going to relish? Email us at: info@gabbettgroup.com and we'll give you our insights either privately or in our next issue.
