A man approached a friend of mine at a gas station asking for money. He had a long story – his wife left him, he had 20,000 children, the usual. My friend pulled out a ten-dollar bill and said, “This is yours on one condition: first you have to listen to my story.” The man walked away.

I tell this story with permission from Ros Kaspi, a life success coach (www.coachwo men.com). It’s an old joke, but it carries an important message for us as speakers: the audience isn’t really that interested in the “all about me” show. They are much more interested in what is all about them.

One mistake speakers often make is starting their speech by telling the audience all about themselves. We all have a little Norma Desmond in us.*

I don’t know how to say this delicately: nobody cares. At least not until they have decided you have something interesting and valuable to say.

The truth is, you’ve only got about 30 seconds to engage your audience. You are better off asking a question or telling a story they can relate to.

Hey, did I ever tell you about my 8th grade science project? It was about the effects of radiation on barley. You see, I grew up on a farm 31.2 miles from Peoria. Asleep yet? I rest my case.

Remember, you may be the speaker, but the audience owns the room.

*First person to email me explaining the Norma Desmond reference wins a prize.