As a manager, I often wished I had found out critical, key bits of information and insight about my employees sooner than I did. I remember once finding out an employee I had pegged for management wanted no part of it. Just because he exhibited strong managerial talents did not mean that was where he wanted to go in his career. He was also a fine journalist and the track he wanted was that of a foreign correspondent, not a bureau chief. I could have been working on getting him that foreign posting sooner, had I asked instead of assumed.

One way we can learn more about our employees' strengths, aspirations and motivators is to have conversations that are NOT data driven. The answers to such questions as, “Where’s that report?” or “Are the new numbers in yet?” are not the ones that will yield stellar insights. Believe it or not, open-ended questions as simple as, “How is it going?” can.

This can be hard to remember to do in deadline-driven operations. But if we always ask what the numbers are, but never ask how our finance director is doing, we may well be crunching the numbers ourselves next month!

Asking curious questions, then truly listening to the answers, is key to gleaning the information we need to support our best employees into staying and thriving.

The Gallup Organization surveyed over a million employees from a broad range of companies, industries and countries to answer the question: “What do the most talented employees need from their workplace?”.

They found that how long talented employees stay, and how productive they are, comes down to their relationship with their immediate supervisor.

At the Gabbett Group, we believe that creating the types of relationships that retain talented employees starts with activities as simple as coffee and a conversation. Stellar supervisors are also savvy communicators. They know that one of the most valuable uses of their time is getting to know their employees. And they know the way to do that is to ask genuinely curious questions in a relaxed, neutral setting.

I once found out over lunch with a staff member that his father had died at a young age. As the only son, he had been tagged the “man of the family” at ten. This single insight enabled me to understand his sometimes brash, authoritarian behavior. I was then able to work with compassion to help him expand his behavior choices, as well as put him in roles where he could thrive.

Another employee was once up for an award for her sustained, superior performance. Thinking first of what I might want in that situation, I started considering a big, public celebration. Then I remembered she had once revealed to me in an unrelated conversation her utter horror at being thrown a surprise party and how uncomfortable being the center of attention was for her. Armed with that knowledge, I asked her how she would like to mark the occasion, suggesting an intimate, low-key gathering at which she would not be asked to speak. She was as relieved as she was pleased.

Here are five suggestions to improve your savvy communicator quotient as a manager:

• Carve out time for conversations WITHOUT agenda.
• Take some of your own coffee breaks in public areas where you will run into employees in relaxed, neutral settings, outside your office.
• Attend the occasional after-hours informal employee gathering.
• Ask often. The more often we check in with our employees, the more comfortable they will be letting us know not only what is going on with them, but also their latest brilliant idea. Keep a log to make sure you are checking in on a regular basis.
• Listen and take note. Take time to consider what you have heard and how you might use that information to that person’s benefit and to the benefit of your operation.

Remember, the savviest communicators make the best managers. And the best managers retain the key employees who drive the success of the business. It can all start with coffee and a conversation.

How about you? When was the last time you had a conversation with an employee or a colleague without agenda? Give it a try this week and let us know how it goes! Email us at: info@gabbettgroup.com or call us at 847-679-4604 and we'll give you a free coaching session in which we'll help you hone these simple, yet incredibly powerful, communication skills.

Janie Gabbett is a communications strategist. She works with professionals to help them communicate their way to their own version of success – in meetings, behind the podium, or in critical one-on-one interactions. Find out more about how she can help you and your company at www.gabbettgroup.com.

©Janie Gabbett 2005